Bittersweet Memory

Today is a bittersweet day. A part of me thinks I should keep this date in mind and another wants to erase it from my memory. One year ago today, I took an overdose of 2 very heavy narcotic medications. I am told that my family was advised I may not survive and if I did my quality of life was gone. My kidneys were shutting down and I was in the ICU. So why did I take the pills? Was I trying to end my life? Subconsciously, maybe. I was depressed. I felt all alone, my marriage was doomed and I felt I had lost my daughter. I felt like I was no longer needed or wanted. Conscientiously, I just wanted to go to sleep (a very sound sleep) and not feel anything for a while. Luckily, I was found the next morning and rushed to the hospital and survived.
But it is a bittersweet memory. I don't want to remember that day but on the other hand, it is because of this day that I am where I am today. It made me examine my life and realize that I needed to make some changes. I needed to get out of the marriage. I needed to gain my daughter back and go on with my life. This day was somewhat of a turning point for me. It gave me the courage to make the changes that I needed to make. I realized that no matter what my daughters needed me and I have to continue to fight for them. I gained hope and determination for my future. I am thankful tonight that God spared me and chose to give me another chance at life.